Where's My Holiday Tennis Spirit???

 As I was sitting at my tennis Christmas party yesterday my mind kept wandering to my son.  My beautiful son is going away to college this next year.  It is not sitting well with me.  I should be doing more.  Less tennis, maybe contribute financially to what this next year is going to bring us.  I still have my littlest at home, no time for a job, the guilt that plagues me that the burden solely lies on the amazing husband who has given us this extraordinary life. This family has been, and still is my job, for the past 20 years.  I do not want it to change.  The internal fight that my mind and body are struggling with is taking over my every thought.  It's not empty nest cause my nest is not empty yet.  Pre-Empty Nest Anxiety Disorder.  I'm suffering from a disorder that does not exactly exist for me yet.  The same way when I was pregnant for 2 days in 1995,  I was never pregnant, but I cried and morned that baby I never had.  My mother-n-law still laughs at me over that.  I worry about things.  I worry about this boy/man that I have raised. But I know he's got this, we've done a really, really good job.  He is an extraordinary kid with cool quirks that make him tick to his own beat.  He's an amazing tennis player, that never fell in love with it.  Maybe he will someday. 



I've watched some tennis friends go through this empty nest syndrome.  What do they do?  Seems like they play more tennis.  Why am I feeling like the opposite could be true?  Find that happy tennis place, my new tennis place?  Tennis used to be an exit from the hum drum of every day life of a house wife and mom.  Exercise, friends, getting out of the house.   Now what is it?  What's it going to be for me as I grow old?  Right now I just want to be locked away inside my house, huddled close with those babies and my love.  I do not want to go out, I don't want to be with anyone else.  Just here, just home, no more parties, no more tennis, no more chardonnay.  Just me and my peeps together for our last unchanged holiday months.  Where they are still my babies in my nest with me protecting them, where nothing else in the world matters.... Like the first month of his life when I stayed in my pjs all day, feeding him taking naps.   That life was wonderful and simple.  

Ahhh yet, another client dinner tonight and a happy face I will put on as I order that chardonnay.     

Gisele's Tennis Today

There was NO tennis for Gisele today!!!! 

And it has been kinda of nice.  I so needed this Christmas break.  During my time off I am reflecting on the way women interact on a tennis team, it has me sad.  This is a team sport, where all of us take time away from our families, jobs, school, etc.  It just seems like everyone should just enjoy this time of exercise and fellowship with their teammates, their tennis friends.  But it is not always that way. :(  Which has caused me to step down as captain of my more competitive team, not because I don't love it.  I do love it, many aspects.  I love "most" of the other captains (hee hee) and I love our camaraderie before and after a match.  I love recapping the week of tennis in silly funny emails.  I love the Christmas parties and the lunches.  I do love these teams.  However, something has changed, and I do not really like it.



My grandma used to say a few bad apples can spoil the bunch and I'm afraid that this metaphor applies to my team situation.  I'm feeling rotten inside and I do not want to be captain anymore.  I like people to like me.  It matters to me.   It's a shame that when you volunteer for a position, give freely of your time, people find ways to be negative and to criticize the job you're doing.  I know this happens in all aspects of our lives... jobs, PTA, church groups~ not just in ladies tennis.  But for now I'm just tired :(

So, now that I have that off of my chest... decision made... I'm just going to try be like all the other players on the team, just a player.  Show up on match day, play.  Go to clinic if I want, stay home and clean the house, if I'd rather.  Will someone step up to do my old job? Maybe, maybe not.  But my core, my sweet little apple core, will feel better. Life is too short. I want to love tennis again.   Cause Gisele LOVES tennis!!!   

Too much wine drinking and it is only Tuesday.  

Trying to take the night off.  

Sassy Girl Tennis (TM): Top 5 strategies to win with any partner.

Sassy Girl Tennis (TM): Top 5 strategies to win with any partner.: Win With Any Partner Don't be mad at your captain, isn't this team tennis?  The same old adage stands true today...  there...

Eola Wine Company only happy faces today!!!

Headed out for another tennis Birthday celebration.  

no sad faces today.

http://www.eolawinecompany.com/index.php

Gisele's Tennis Today

Oh what a great day…. We were playing our facilities sister team, in our first round rain make up match.  We all were taking this way too seriously.  It's the one team you need to beat this season.  We share courts, tennis pros and the ups and downs of being in the same facility.  These are my friends, my partners on other teams, it always makes for a more uncomfortable competitive day.  

In the end my team took 4 out of the 5 lines!!  We had to fight for that last win on line 1.  Whoo hooooo we did it!!!  We started this match in early October and are just now finishing it in December.  Way took long to think about the outcome.  Ahhhh we did it though…. bragging rights for the first round.  

I got home after our victory lunch to be surprised with an email from our league recorder… I have a freakin LINE VIOLATION!!!!   What the heck??  How is that possible?  Oh yes it was possible, and it was true.  I was devastated for 2 hours, must gain perspective Gisele, it is only tennis suppose to be for fun.  Oh and it was so much fun to win today!!!  Maybe I shouldn't take this captain business so serious, let it go, drink more chardonnay.  I just hate making mistakes.  And it was just that, a silly mistake~ some may call it cheating, it was an innocent accident though.  Never the less the punishment was handed down We had to forfeit line 3 and were also penalized a point for doing such a negligent job in selecting the line up way back in October. But we are still the winners for the day.  Whoo Hoo!!!!   In the end we are all still friends and no one is really all that upset about it. 

Drinking one of my holiday favorite that just arrived!  Suacci Carciere shipped in from the Russian River Valley.  Right now I'm enjoying the Rose Wine for a change up.  Not too sweet even the hubs likes it.  As well as the Heintz Vineyard Chardonnay, Gold winning wine.   

Yummmmmmy!!!!  

  https://www.suaccicarciere.com